the bittersweet between my teeth, trying to find the in-betweens, fall back in love eventually

i've been enduring 3rd floor no fan no a/c 90 degree weather while unpacking a life that i've been without for 3+ months. the final delivery came yesterday, filling up my entire downstairs bedroom with well packaged items that i had almost forgotten about. unpacking these things - it feels like christmas yet i paid for it all and already know what it is. there is something really freeing about living out of a suitcase for months. sleeping on couches, floors, beds that are not yours. would i have been happier doing it willingly? yes. but being forced into uncomfortable situations are sometimes the only way to experience it. i would have never put myself through all that (and certainly a life lesson: never put someone through that type of hell. i can only hope someone else learned that lesson too...yet his stubborn & selfish ways will never fail to amaze me). as the dust settles (slowly) i'm seeing better things. that doesn't mean my morning shower breakdowns don't happen on a daily basis. it doesn't mean that my dreams of what i had do not haunt me in the middle of the night. it does not mean that my heart doesn't crumble and my hands don't shake when i hear his name or the jingle of his keys in a hallway. i've thought of what would happen if i came face to face with him. would i drop to my knees and cry? would i throw my hot coffee right into his face? probably neither. i'd hide. he deserves no joy nor pain from my life activities and that's how it should remain.

on a happier note i've found the weather to be intoxicating (allbeit hot as hell). when it gets this humid and sweaty, all i can think of is dancing in a crowd. there's an energy that cannot be replicated when you're with a group of dancing people with powerful heart-vibrating music. so while searching through M83 influenced groups, i stumbled upon what i think will be my summer album. download it and dance to it.

RIGHT HERE